The government has given the go ahead for Amsterdam’s red light district to open on July 1st. Protocols include don’t shake hands. As if you would! Interestingly, some girls do offer a hand shake when you enter the room and before they relieve you of your money, which puts the encounter on a business-like footing. Nine times out of ten it’s a bad sign, anyway. You certainly don’t want them doing that before relieving you of your pent up, lock down, sexual frustration. The Thai girls, however, have always been on point, offering a little hand prayer gesture and dipping of the head instead of the hand shake.
As you can see from the photos, wearing a mask and washing hands regularly is already ingrained in the window girls’ behaviour.
Apparently, the government asked the medical people for advice. I’m not sure exactly what they said but it amounts to don’t fuck like an 18th century priest on a voyage of discovery, pretend you’re a dog (animal of your choice). Fortunately, the girls are good at doing the sex without adopting the attitudes of the little dog in question.
It seems that oral sex is out. I puzzled over that for a bit. I mean. if the guy’s wearing a condom, so what? I suspects it’s to avoid transmission resulting from blowing your nose then scratching your balls, and then her nose getting up close.
Luckily, admission to the windows isn’t premised on the notion that the guy’s cock is 1.5 metres long. Phew! For a minute though I might not be able to join in. And equally lucky, the contact time has always been fifteen minutes which is maximum to avoid Covid transmission. At the same time, I have it on good authority that a lot of guys struggle to make it last five minutes never mind fifteen: their focus is emission rather than transmission.
As I see it, the big problem is going to be outside the room with all those hordes of tourists traipsing around the area looking but not buying and breathing all over each other. Keeping 1.5 metres apart is going to be tricky. My advice is to simply hold your breath until you walk into a clear socially distanced area.
However, it’s not going to be up my steeg, as they say, for a while. I like to take my time and play with the girls for an hour or more. I don’t see me flying out to Amsterdam for literally a moment of passion.
But you might. Feel free to let me know how it went.
Your Pandemic Red Light Experience
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Good luck!
Who is Gagging to Visit the Red Light District?
Post Script: I’ve noticed a link to The Amsterdam Diaries from another site appearing in the analytics several times recently. I checked it out. There’s a brief dialogue. Guy 1: “The interview (referring to the Vice interview) … “in English of a regular in Amsterdam and the link to his blog, documented, educated if somewhat psychopathic.” (Made me smile.)
Guy 2: “His blog has changed address since the publication of the article (if we are talking about the same guy) ….. followed by the janvan URL.
Green Light to Pay for Sex!!!!
Post Post Script: Interest in the Amsterdam red light district has been increasing over the last week as parts of the world have started to unlock. Where is most of that interest coming from? Habitually, this blog gets about 25% of its traffic from the USA, 20% from the UK and 15% from the Netherlands (a combination of locals and tourists), which I take as a measure of actual travel in normal times, and that’s how it’s shaping up. Interest from around the world has ballooned over the last week.
First the bad news. Americans are not going to be tasting the feminine delights of those delicious young bodies in the steegs and straats of Amsterdam any time soon because of travel restrictions (boo-hoo!). For Brits it’s a mixed picture. The shackles are being taken off. It’s now official that you can travel to the Netherlands for a paid-for fuck and not quarantine on arrival or return (as long as you come back after July 10th (it’s 4th as I write this)!!!! and as long as you don’t live in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. Sorry guys, you’ll just have to make do with the book – or whatever.
Is it Safe, Sweety?
Post Post Post Script: Because the virus tends to hit the elderly and infirm and those with underlying health conditions more badly than anyone else (it also helps to be female). Analytics suggest that most interest in the area is from those aged 25 to 45 (youngish). The girls are unlikely to get badly hit even if they contract the virus. However, it stands to reason that they are working up close and could become vectors for transmission. It makes sense to keep carriers and especially those who are asymptomatic out of the rooms). There’s no point testing for temperature, that’s going to be way up (LOL) ……. and where would they get a tempgun? However, there is a simple test.
I recommend that the local authorities have special ‘dissolve on your tongue’ sweets manufactured. These should be a mixture of peppermint, lemon, caramel and shit flavoured. The girls issue a sweet randomly selected before entry. The potential client has to identify the taste. If they can’t taste anything or get it wrong, they’re refused entry. Why? Because loss of taste and smell is a tell-tale sign in otherwise asymptomatic carriers.
So What’s it Like to Visit a Red Light Girl?
The Amsterdam Diaries, The Amsterdam Diaries 2, and The Soho Diaries are all available a download to any device from Amazon. Chronological diary accounts written immediately after visits.
The Amsterdam Diaries 